Friday, February 1, 2013

Fire, Gasoline, and a Beast

Hello all from my love movie marathon,

Yes, I have broken down and watched a few sappy movies tonight. I love them all, I am such a sucker for them really. I must be a sadistic freak, because they always make me cry and even though I know I will get all choked up, I watch them anyways. Currently, Beastly is on. If you haven't heard of it, it is pretty much a modern day Beauty and the Beast. This boy is hateful and of course he is GORGEOUS, so a witch casts a spell on him to where someone has to love him when he is ugly. Obviously, the girl ends up falling for him, tattooed, scarred face, bald headed and all. In fact, when he reveals himself to her, she says, "I've seen worse."
Why can't this be real life? I wish some freaky looking dude would come get me and then turn out to be some hot guy whenever I kissed him. However, this is reality and my luck would be he would just be freaky looking and kidnap me.

I don't care about most of that stuff really. If you are nice, have a good heart, have a sense of humor, and I can dress you up, you are pretty much in with me. If you have dimples, long pretty eye lashes, freckles and are good looking, it's just an added bonus. Especially the first three though. Mhhmmm, those things make any man look good. Being able to rock a baseball hat old school is a bonus too. Not the slanted to the side or tilted up styles that are popular today, I mean regular old bill facing forward, low over the eyes style. Not too many men can pull this off correctly anymore. It is not in style anymore. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong decade. I think I belong in a time where sharing milkshakes and parking were cool. Anyone else out there think they belong in a different time?

Side story, I read something on the internet a few nights ago that if you cannot sleep, it is because you are awake in someone else's dream. Well, I'd like to tell whoever is constantly dreaming about me to give it a rest or come and find me because I am so tired of not being able to lay down and fall asleep like I used to. I swear I must be running laps in this person's dream. Let me sleep darn it! I dream about scary monsters and people who I have never met. I wonder if they are awake out there somewhere in the world. Actually, it is impossible for the brain to make up faces from scratch, so every face you see in your dreams, you have seen in real life somewhere before. Kind of like that Sleeping Beauty song "Once Upon a Dream." She talks about dancing and walking with someone, because she has seen him before. It's kind of nice when you think about the fact that the hot guy who drops his keys in the parking lot and thanks you for returning them with an amazing date and an even better kiss is real. Until you think about the murderer who killed you with a poisonous needle must also be real. Perfect. Logic sucks.

Anyways, I try to go for substance over style. Except for the depressing fact that I have not actually dated anyone with substance. Actually the last boyfriend didn't have style either, he still wears jorts... Looks like I have been slacking in both categories. But not anymore. This is my public vow... I've had someone I could talk to, really talk to, who ended up being an asshole unfortunately. I've been the asshole in a few situations too. By no means am I trying to make myself sound like I am perfect. I hurt someone real bad in high school, and it hurts my heart to think that I was so cruel. But going for true substance over style will be my goal this time around. I am a girl for Heaven's sake, give me a comb, an ironed shirt, and a nice pair of dark wash jeans and I can give him some style. You can't give someone substance, except for the tiny little piece that is you that is missing. If you can't have a conversation with someone about old movies or books or what you want out of life, what is there really?

I was at yoga tonight, which is what inspired this little substance vs. style debacle. After an hour of being put into very compromising positions and lots of deep breathing (sounds more like sex than exercise), my teacher Kelly left us with an inspirational quote. I guess she was trying to make sure she incorporated the mind into this mind, body, and spirit training. She said, "If you want to truly live, you must first set your life on fire. Find someone who will fan your flames." While in balasana, I immediately thought of the Hunger Games which has nothing to do with any of this, just throwing in some proof of how random I truly am. But what she means is, find someone who will enhance the spark inside that you already have, not someone who will dull your embers back into black coal. So, all my single folks out there, do you first, do not settle like leaves at the bottom of a pond. Fill your life with substance first, like placing wood in a pit for a fire. The more logs you have, the bigger it will be. Then, when you have reached your max, find someone with a substance so fierce, it will make the biggest and brightest of flames. If you only throw paper on a fire, the flame will burn bright for a few seconds, then die out. This is because it has no substance. Don't find someone with paper. Find someone with gasoline.

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