Perfectly Imperfect

Hello all from my living room,

I am watching the Bachelor, which I totally swore off watching because it is so stupid sometimes. I hate how they never really end up together and how two weeks after the finale there are rumors of their infidelity plastered on every magazine cover. Come on guys, get a grip. I'd really like to slap this guy, too. Every time someone throws him a sob story, he takes the hook like a fish after bait.

For some reason, this prompted me to look back over all the posts I have written so far. Although I like and believe in what I have written, I feel as though I may be giving everyone the notion that your girlfriend or boyfriend should be perfect. This is wrong, and I apologize for giving this vibe that the people we fall in love with have to be perfect. If you are looking for someone who is perfect, you will be like all those Spaniards looking for the Fountain of Youth in Florida, you won't find it.

My friend Kim sent me a quote last night that really pulled at my heartstrings and settled in my mind as well. It says what I would like to say, what I would like to try to convey to all of you, and honestly, to myself. I am really good at giving advice, not so much as taking my own. I know, it's a problem, I am working on it.

"He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there is always on guy that is perfect for you." -Bob Marley

I genuinely love this quote. I feel like this is the least cheesy, most honest thing I have ever read about "love." If you haven't figured it out yet, I am an extremely cheesy person, and I fall for and oogle over all things mushy. This is something completely different though. It is spot on and honest. Bob Marley must have been smoking the really expensive, clean stuff that night.

The fact is, people are not perfect. Therefore, your relationship with someone is not going to be perfect either. It is not going to be like a Disney movie where a prince rides in on his white stallion and saves you from eternal sleep or wicked stepmothers. It isn't going to be like a Nicholas Sparks novel.

You are going to fight with your significant other, and it is going to get nasty at times. He is going to forget something that is important to you, like a date every once in a while, and you are going to get really angry. You are going to get on his nerves, and he is bound to let you know when that happens. He is not going to like everything you like, so don't go all fifty shades of cray when he doesn't want to go see Fifty Shades of Grey. He is going to play video games Friday night, Saturday night, and then not understand why you are pouting when he turns on a Sunday football marathon. He is going to be vague about the "future" and it is going to drive you crazy. He is not going to listen to those not so subtle hints about what you want for your birthday and buy you something totally wrong. He is not always going to send flowers and chocolates, if ever. You are going to buy him clothes for Christmas when he really wanted the new Call of Halo Modern Madden Warfare 2020, and he is going to be really bad at hiding his disappointment. You are going to try to get him to act one way and he is not going to budge. He is going to attempt to get you to chill out and not be so uptight, and you are going remain as tight as a pair of skinny jeans on an elephant.

If he whines about going to see a girly movie but still goes, kisses you during the commercials of a football game, and can say he is sorry when he has gone so far wrong he is in Australia, he is doing the best he can. If she pouts while you are watching football but makes you some popcorn and brings you a beer, slips the new Call of Duty in between the two sweaters she bought you for Christmas, and agrees to go see the latest Fast and the Furious even though Beautiful Creatures came out the same night, she is doing all that she can.

Do yourself a favor, quit comparing your relationship to everyone else. You are just going to make yourself miserable. They are going to be standing over there all cute with their matching shirts and she is going to be carrying a beautiful bouquet of roses he just surprised her with, while you over there pulling teeth to get your man to hold your hand in public.

Find someone who works with you, who makes you giggle like a small child who has done something naughty, and makes you feel, well, perfect, and you will have found someone who is perfect for you. It may not be sunshine and daisies all the time. What really matters is if you can still snuggle up on those stormy nights and walk together hand in hand through a field when the flowers have all died.

The funny thing is, when you find someone who is imperfectly perfect for you, nobody else will matter. You won't be looking at other people's relationships because you will have your very own version of a Nicholas Sparks novel going on right in front of you. To you, he will be perfect and you will be the apple of his eye. Together you will complete each others' weird, distorted, imperfect puzzle perfectly.