Mother of a Monday

Hello all from my living room,

I am surprised to be in a normal mental state after the day I had yesterday. Normally, I don't complain about Mondays like everyone else. Especially this semester because I don't have classes on Mondays leaving me with no responsibilities. I view Mondays as a new beginning, a way to start over fresh if the week before was a bust. It is sort of a do over day. It's Tuesdays that get me. Tuesday is useless as hell and in general is a lack luster day compared to all the others. You have Monday as the beginning of the week, Wednesday as hump day, Thursday and you have almost made to the weekend, and Friday is the start of the weekend. I think God threw Tuesday in there for good measure.

Have you ever just had a day where after the first fifteen minutes you just wanted to crawl back in bed and try again tomorrow? This was me yesterday.
This Monday has left a bad taste in my mouth for this particular day of the week. I woke up in the Loft feeling rather ill. After about two seconds on my feet, I rushed to the bathroom to throw up. No folks, I am not pregnant. You have to have sex to get that way and my life is in a lack there of, so put that out of your mind. Mcdonald's chicken nuggets do not taste the same coming back up. I guess my body revolting against me is a sign that I should leave the greasy little beasts alone. My metabolism was screaming, "Don't eat that stupid, you will never look skinny in skinny jeans if you do." Needless to say, I won't be eating those for a looong time. If that is what really made me sick, I have no idea, but my brain tends to associate the puking with whatever I ate last.

So after waking up to a spewing alarm clock, I packed my things to head back to Tally. I went to pick up Cassie so we could leave. She was not awake because Momma Ruby forgot to wake her up. Shame, shame Momma Ruby. Unfortunately, this put us behind schedule. I was driving, trying not to throw up in my lap (which I did again when I got to Cassie's house). I put 2000s Hip Hop on my Pandora Radio and let Gold Digger and Candy Shop subdue my churning insides while Cassie chatted with Matty.

We were just getting into Tallahassee, only three exits away from my apartment when I saw the light. Not like a shining light of a coming to Jesus moment or an idea suddenly striking you. These lights were blue... and red. Mother trucking cop was hidden real deep in a ditch, and I was speeding. Not like a five miles over the speed limit speeding either. I knew it as soon as I passed him that he was going to come after me. I kept praying maybe he would take the red truck in front of me, that bastard was speeding too! But sure enough, the trooper pulled up behind ole Mildred and I had to pull over. Cassie went to roll down the window and for some reason, the window would not roll down. Perfect. I was too embarrassed when she had to open the door so I could speak to him. He was relatively young and pretty decently good looking. Too bad I looked like the back side of Fido's ass and had no make up on. Oh yeah, I didn't have a bra on either. Actually, that bit may have worked out in my favor had I had my hair fixed and didn't have mascara smudges on my cheeks left over from the day before.

He proceeded to ask if I had any idea how fast I was going. No shit Sherlock, of course I knew. That's why my face was contorted into that ugly guilty look I make when I know I have done something wrong and gotten caught. You certainly didn't pull me over for my dashing good looks. I said yes and that I was really sorry and that it wasn't something I normally did. I normally set my cruise control around 73 mph when driving back and forth between home and Tally because the troopers hide in the trees like extreme ticket issuing ninjas just waiting on some poor slightly speeding sucker to come along. Also, I don't have anyone in Tally to fix my tickets, so I avoid getting them. He asked why I was flying and Cassie and I both frantically screeched that we were trying to get her to school on time to take her quiz so she didn't fail it due to not showing up. He said he would make this as quick as possible. He returned in about 4 minutes flat. Now we know, when they take longer than ten (which they typically do) they are just being jerks. Unfortunately, he came back carrying a little white paper saying I would owe the city of Tallahassee 281 dollars. But being the chivalrous gent he was, he lowered my ticket amount to 131. Whatever dude if you wanted to be nice you would have just let me go. He was in school once, doesn't he know what it is like to be running late for an exam???!!!

Surprisingly, we made it home without any further criminal offenses. After I dropped Cassie off at school, I decided I wanted some food since I had none in my belly. I needed something simple that wouldn't tear my insides to shreds if I had some sort of bug. Panera soup is always my go to sick meal. I went to Panera and ordered some Chicken Sonoma Stew to go. It is basically like chicken pot pie without the crust. God's gift to the world of liquid meals. I made it back to the apartment without anything catastrophic happening, but I should have known it wouldn't be long before I had a meltdown. I sat on my bed with my lovely white down comforter beneath me. Something was bound to go wrong, and it did. I spilled my steaming bowl of deliciousness in my lap not once, but twice. Great, I had soup crotch. I just sat there for a moment, attempting not to freak the heck out, but it didn't last long. I got up, screamed something profane, dipped my last piece of french baguette into the mess on my bed, and snatched my now ruined duvet off my mattress. Somehow, I managed to put my new sheets on my bed and crawl into it without breaking a bone or setting anything on fire, and I drifted off into a sleep, fighting back tears of anger. For some reason, I get teary when I get mad or nervous or happy or any other feeling. I think I have an issue

I woke up feeling loads better. Later on I went to the gas station and turned in my lottery tickets my mom got me for my birthday. I had won 20 bucks and thought I needed to redeem. I bought two more and won 22 dollars on them, baller status right here folks. If that isn't "winning" I don't know what is. My luck was starting to turn around. After that I went to the gym and took out the remainder of my frustration on my abdominal area and butt. Nothing like a little sweat to take over the tears. My bed welcomed me with open arms and I fell asleep hoping to forget about this monster of a Monday.

When I woke up, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I could turn this week around this useless Tuesday, until I looked at the clock, that is. The digital numbers on my phone read 9:28. This is a problem because I had a test in Family Public Policy at 9:30. 2 minutes and 3 miles of traffic to campus was an impossible race against time. Ugh, not again! There is no way I could have two bad days in a row! I rushed to class as fast as I could without speeding because with my luck, I'd get pulled over again. I lied to the sweet man at the Wellness Center parking lot telling him I had an appointment there so I could park right outside my classroom. Sorry mister sir! I will try not to do it again for a while.

I took my exam and went back out to my car. One of the reasons I fell in love with FSU is because of all the big beautiful oak trees on campus. I love looking at their ancient gnarled branches and the moss swaying in the breeze when I am walking to class. There is one right outside the WC. It was drizzling outside to match my mood. This tree turned into a Whomping Willow and threw a branch down where I had been standing only a second before. Clearly someone doesn't want me here anymore (both Harry Potter references). It wasn't a huge branch but it was big enough to have inflicted certain pain and a headache. After having a minor heart attack, I decided I wanted to try this soup thing one more time. When I got to Panera, I was delighted to hear I had a free pastry on my card. I gladly accepted it, but I have refrained from eating it. My day was doing a magical 180.

After lunch I headed to Target to look around for stuff I don't need. Target is perfect for that. I was passing by the Starbucks when this stranger girl asked me if I wanted a free coffee. I was puzzled because nobody just gave away free Starbucks. She must have seen it all over my face and explained that she had some coupon thing that entitled her to a free beverage and that she had nobody to share it with. I know how you feel sister. The brewista made me a vanilla latte after the kind girl left. She was bored and I had nowhere to go so we started to chat. She insisted that I try the samples of chocolate coffee cake (I was good, I only ate one bite sized piece) and she made a coworker and I a hot chocolate shot. I told this was making my past two days a lot better. She asked how bad it was and I told her it started with me throwing up at 7:45 in the morning. Of course, she asked if I was pregnant and I said heck to the no! I told her I had recently broken up with my boyfriend, meaning there was none of that going on, which led to her talking about her ex. It was a nice little conversation that went from boys to work to my upcoming 21st birthday. I love chatting it up with strangers. They typically have good stories to tell. So thank you Teirney (I think that is how you spell it, sorry if I messed up). You want a perfectly mixed coffee or hot chocolate, go see her at the Target on Appalachee Parkway. Hmm, that useless Tuesday must be the new Friday.

The point of all this is to say that bad days suck, but there is nothing you can do about them. They come in swings like colds and flus. It's never one thing either, it is going to be several awful things happening at once. So whine and moan about how bad they suck, take a nap, then move on. There's a song about this. Just know, "the night is darkest before the dawn." Meaning, though things may seem horrible now, a brighter and better day is around the corner with nice strangers and free coffee.