Hello all,
Ready for Round 2? Warning: this post contains acts that may be considered wild and unruly, drunkenness, shady bar incidences, and lots of good fun. If these things are going to twist your panties in a knot, don't read it. Please wait until my next girly, lovey post instead.
So, we chugged the birthday shots. Mind you, this is one of the first shots I have had since Cassie's twenty first Risky Business themed waltz, which was also a crazy cool night. That post is still to come, and it will in fact come soon. So, it tasted like crap, but felt sort of good after it went down. I like the warmth that spreads throughout my chest after taking one.
Don't get me confused with an alcoholic, I am not an alchie. I really do not like it all that much, but when it is time to celebrate and have a good time, it is okay. I am more of a whole bottle of juice and a splash of alcohol girl if I am drinking (which is very rare). I don't like the bitter taste of it, so my drinks have to be watered down. In short, I am a sissy.
Earlier that day (technically it is the 16th but I mean the 15th), I had received a few tokens of love from friends and family to wish me a happy birthday. So you all remember my post about me fantabulous (fantastic + fabulous= fantabulous?)ex roommate Ashley? Well, she is possibly the best gift giver I have befriended. I received a large box from Ashley. The parcel contained a pretty brown bottle and something else wrapped in paper. The bottle was Godiva Chocolate liqueur and the paper concealed a Harry Potter coffee mug with the Marauder's Map on it. It had a little tag attached that explained that when the mug is heated, footprints like the ones on the map will appear all over the mug! Holy crap alcohol that tastes like chocolate and a Harry Potter mug that does magic?! This girl knows me far too well! I would like to thank you again Ashley! I loved my presents and I will forevermore love you. A letter from my Grandma in Seattle came. She always picks out really cute cards. The 200 bucks inside of it made it even cuter. Thanks Grandma, love you! There was also a package in the mail that I bought for myself containing a bottle of It's a Ten leave in hair product. This stuff is like bottled crack for hair. Happy Birthday to me! After I got done opening all this stuff, I returned to my bedroom to find packages on my bed. They were from Chelsey and Jess. They went to this adorable store called Lola and the Bean and bought me a koozie (I think that is how it is spelled) that says, "Keep Calm and Stow your Twitchy Palm" which is from the Fifty Shades books, an elegant purple bracelet with a blinged out clasp, a headache relieving shower salt, and candy. I love everything guys! Best roomies ever! Taytum brought a present with her. Taytum and I have this weird relationship that is often shown in our gift giving to each other. Her present contained a glass cup that said Happy Birthday on the outside with a sticker that requested I look inside the glass. So, naturally, I did. At the bottom was the true message, it said, "You Dirty Slut." Perfect! Also, she had a really awesome bracelet made with GRYFFINDOR spelled out in cute little charms. Thanks Tay Tay! Mom sent Tyler up with many gift cards. She felt the need to put every single one in its own birthday card. She knows I love cards and I thought it was exceptionally thoughtful. One of them is to Longhorns and you can bet I will be getting me a steak sometime in the near future! Thanks Mommy! Tyler also had a card for me with a Starbucks card in it. The card is beautiful and very sweet. I should have known there was a catch. The real present from him was the picture he drew in the card. It is me with a funnel and a bottle of Grey Goose going into the funnel (as if anyone could do that, you would die!) with, "Happy 21st nigga, LET'S GET WASTED!" written at the top. He is so poetic isn't he? I love it and I love you Tyler! Dad sent him with money to take care of me this weekend and he had my Keurig waiting back at home for me. My Aunt Melanie sent me a card with owls drinking martinis on it with another check in it. Thank you! Cassie gave me my present at midnight and it was a bow belt I had been wanting, the shot glasses, and a statement necklace that I would wear for the night of my party. I love it!!!! Dang there is a lot of love in this post... and this was an extremely long paragraph.
We watched Pitch Perfect that night and basically just chilled out until like 4 in the morning. The real fun was to begin in mere hours, and we needed to rest up.
Later that day we put the finishing touches on the house badges, they looked like old fashioned police badges and were part black and part either garnet, gold, blue, or emerald colored glitter. At the top of the badge said Cara's Harry Potter Waltz, to let everyone know what the theme was. I tried to make the iconic Harry Potter glasses with pipe cleaners from a tutorial I saw online. I was going to buy them until the lady at Party City told me they were 6.99 per pair. Ain't nobody got money for that! Well, after three nights of attempting these glasses, I gave up because they were terrible. Cassie made my waltz sign. It was so cool looking! She cut a lightening bolt out of a piece of a neon yellow presentation board. She wrote all the twenty one things on it and wrote "Cara's HP Waltz" with the lightening bolt P like on the front of the books, in the middle and all the tasks they set forth for me to complete on the sides. I would now like to share with you all the 21 things because they are too hilarious:
1) Collect 21 straws from people's drinks
2)Get 21 kisses
3) Collect 21 dollars
4) Get 21 spankings
5)Cast 21 spells
6)Call 21st person in phone
7) Take pic with Security
8)Have a stranger buy you a drink
9)Collect 21 condoms
10) Get entire place to sing you happy birthday
11) Convince 21 people that you are Hermione Granger
12) Talk to 21 people in a British accent
13) Take 21 pics
14) Make a secret handshake with 21 people
15) Turn into an animagus
16) High- 5 21 ppl
17) Fly around the club like Buckbeak
18)Organize a Quidditch match
19) Chug a drink for 21 seconds
20) Say 21 Harry Potter quotes
21) GET THROWN INTO WESTSCOTT FOUNTAIN!
My friends really are so creative aren't they? Well I did some of these and I will tell you how I made modifications some of them later.
After a quick dinner with my roommates, Cassie, Matt and Mike, Tyler, and Taytum and Sierra, it was time for the party to begin. People started arriving by broomstick around 9:30. I say this because Cody actually called his car a Firebolt. Leave it to Cody to get really into something. I don't know why we never really hung out... We have a lot in common when it comes to going to extremes. The more the people arrived, the more the poison started to flow. There was enough alcohol to start a small store and make a profit. I took a picture of it, but that will never make it to Facebook. Let's be honest, I have several pictures from that night that will never make it to any social media outlet. There were plastic ping pong balls flying everywhere, people making hunch punch in the kitchen, and someone turned on some cool jams, all while I was sorting people into their houses. I took my super awesome Charlotte Russe bag and put all the glittery house badges into it and asked people to reach inside and let fate decide. See what I did there with that little rhyme?
Surprisingly, some people really really got into which house they were in. Cassie's bf Matt refused to continue participating in the festivities if he was not sorted into Gryffindor. Taytum texted me a little earlier that week telling me she decided on Slytherin because she wanted to be bad, and that she had planned her whole outfit around being in Slytherin. She had a green belt and a snake ring, she could have been a model for Slytherin house. Originally, I wanted to be in Gryffindor, but then I decided I would let the house choose me. After asking someone to hold the sorting bag, I reached my hand in and pulled out a badge with green glitter. I was a Slytherin! I guess even the sorting bag knew that I was a cold blooded, evil hearted, reptile underneath my seemingly sweet demeanor. Don't question the sorting bag, it knows all. So, I adorned myself with my Slytherin badge with pride.
Everyone was having a good time when Matt asked me what my Animagus would be if I had one. For those of you who don't know or can't use context clues to figure out, an Animagus is a person who can turn into an animal. I told Matt that I would have to think about it, and he said with sure defiance, "I would be a werewolf night falcon." I asked him what does that look like, and he got down in a crouched position, and slowly opened his arms and shot up into the air flapping them, along with a serious screech that could shatter glass. It was by far the funniest thing I have ever seen! I am not sure if it was because of the good little buzz I had going or what, but I almost peed on myself from laughing so hard.
Amongst people transforming into animals and hunch punch being passed around, we decided it was time to head out to Coliseum. We got there, and it was a bust, so we went to the Strip on a last minute decision. This fits, because I am a last minute person. For those of you who are not Tally natives, the Strip is on highway 90 and it is a strip of bars and mini clubs. You see where they got really creative in the name? After getting our underage friend in, we were in business at a place called Public House. When one of the guys present asked if I wanted to go to Public House, I thought he was saying Public Couch. I knew something wasn't right because that just sounded like a free for all orgy. The hunch punch must have been getting to me.
We bounced around from club to club and somehow ended up in Ken's Tavern. Amazingly we got up to the bar. Thank goodness because my feet were killing me. I had on some huge black stilettos, and there is no amount of hunch punch to make the ache from wearing those kind of shoes go away. Not for me at least. So I got to sit down and my friends started to order shots. Oh my goodness at the shots. You would have thought we were all getting vaccinated to go on an African Safari with how many we ordered. Chelsea ordered me one called a Wet Pussy. Ugh gosh I hate that word! By far one of the ugliest words someone came up with. I will say every word in the book before I say that one. I have said it a few times admittedly about a few choice ex boyfriends of mine, and it felt like I was chewing on nails as it slipped between my teeth and out for the world to hear. As I took the shot, I couldn't help but feel sorry for men. If that's what that tastes like, I might just be gay if I was a man. Maybe it got that name because that's what it does to women. I don't know, but it was pretty strong.
There were Kamikazes and Wet Pussies flying everywhere. That picture Tyler put in my card was turning out to be pretty realistic. They all started to taste the same after a few, like nothing at all. My taste buds were burned out. You could have been feeding me slugs and I wouldn't have known the difference.
After Ken's, we ended up at a place that I am fuzzy with on the name. Its one outstanding feature was two stripper poles on a stage with a DJ. There was a fine line between stripper poles and the floor, but somehow we crossed it. Every girl in the party group was up on that stage and dancing like we were having ones thrown at us. At some point the DJ gave me a birthday shout out and I decided I had to go hug him for his kind gesture. I grabbed his headphones and put them on to pose for pictures. He wouldn't let me touch the record thingy though that will make the skipping noise, I was kind of upset about that. I found out later that Mike had gotten up onstage to tell him to give me the shout out. Turns out, guys are not allowed on the stage, only females. Mike went to walk off the stage, and grabbed the handrail to the stairs, as anyone would do. However, he was on the wrong side of the stairs and just walked off into nothingness. Freaking hilarious!
At some point, I had had enough pole dancing and asked David to help me off stage. I was on the right side of the stairs, but I might have been better off pulling a Mike. I tripped down the stairs and landed wrong with my ankle on the floor and my foot turned sideways. My response to this, "I think I may have just broken my ankle, I'm just gonna walk it off, okay?" I patted David on the shoulder and went to the bathroom. When one girl goes to the bathroom, we all go. Seriously, there were like eight of us in the community bathroom. I announced that it was coming off. Everyone looked at me, wondering what exactly it was. Well, it was my shoes. I couldn't handle them anymore. Jenna Marbles would be highly upset with me. I had no shame and walked back out to the club, barefoot as a jack rabbit.
I was ready for the night to be over. I was tired and had had enough of all the calamity. The hotel bed was calling my name and I was walking out of the door hopelessly drawn to it. When I turned around to look to see if anyone was following suit, I realized we had lost people. It was freezing outside, but I was ready to go to the fountain and call it a night. When I made it down to the parking lot though, I knew this wasn't going to happen. Outside of one of the vehicles we came in was a huge puddle of puke and it was 28 degrees outside. We all found rides with some of the people who elected not to indulge in any polyjuice potion and went home or to the hotel. I got to the hotel and immediately started taking off clothes in exchange for pjs. I listened to Mike lecture me on cheap wine and how the "shit" someone brought to my party was unacceptable. Little does he know, I asked my brother to purchase it so I could make a punch that never got made. After a few minutes, I made my way to the bed and fell into an amazing sleep.
At some point I woke up and was extremely thirsty, like I had just ate sand from the Sahara desert. Somewhere in the kitchen, I heard someone rattling around in the icebox. I assumed it was Destiny so I yelled out and asked her to make me a glass of ice water. Being the awesome friend she is, she obliged and handed me the best tasting glass of water I have ever had. After that I knocked right back out.
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