Are we There Yet?!?!

Hello all,

I am officially on Spring Break, and I am loving every minute of it. Actually I have been on break "officially" since last Thursday. This is the first collegiate spring break that I have actually went on vacation somewhere other than good ole Baker County. I was needing something new in my life, something other than Tallahassee or Glen. I was going somewhere whether I went by myself or with a crowd of ten. Needless to say, I was thrilled when Chelsea threw out an idea. This year, Chelsea invited me to go stay at a condo right on Panama City Beach. Here's the kicker: I would be staying there for four days for only 50 bucks! Beach front view for fifty bucks? I mean I was practically in the car with my beach towel and tanning oil as soon as she said Panama City Beach.

I had a dilemma. I looked in the mirror and I was terrified at the fact that I would be wearing a bathing suit in front of all these sexy college boys. I felt like someone would be yelling, "Whale siting!" if I flopped out on the sand to get some sun. I was/am still not where I want to be weight wise. I have a horrendously long journey still, I know. I decided right then and there that I was not going to the beach looking like that, no matter what.

Chelsea and I agreed to add a group exercise class into our workout mix. We chose to give Cardio Party a try. Cardio Party is like a hip hop dance class with a little zumba flair. There is a lot of ass shaking and ridiculous dance moves that the average white girl, such as myself, is incapable of doing. The music is great though. It ranges from "Get out of your Mind" by the Ying Yang Twins to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. On a serious note, I am the worst dancer ever. I do not have a rhythmic bone in my body. People ask me how I can't dance when I cheered... did y'all ever see me up front in one of the dances we performed at a pep rally? NO!!!!! I have learned to just dance like there is nobody around to see me busting a bad move. When I look around the dance floor during the class, I see a bunch of other less than coordinated girls trying to get their booty shaking on. And they look terrible too! There are even a few guys in there doing it too. They are worse than the girls. After several CP classes and grueling abs and legs workouts with Chelsea, I lost ten pounds before Panama. True, it is not a whole lot of weight, but it is a heck of a ton better than what I was. I mean I need to lose about 60 more, but I accomplished what I wanted, I did not go to the beach looking like I was that night I looked into the mirror trying on bathing suits.

So, ten pounds down and way too much money spent on clothes that I did not need later, Friday had arrived and we were beach bound. Well, almost anyways. Chelsea was all prepared and her things were all neatly packed while mine still lay all over my floor. I was throwing clothes in my bags, trying to clean, and put make-up on all at the same time. Needless to say, I was a not so hot mess. The other two girls, Sandy and Michelle, showed up not too long after Chelsea. I thought we were ready to go, until I turned around and saw the pile of luggage the size of Mt. Everest sitting behind the car waiting to be loaded in. My poor car had so much stuff shoved in its trunk that it couldn't drive straight for a few days. Sandy and Michelle were sitting in the back seat, though you wouldn't know that sitting where I was. They were practically buried underneath bags of groceries, coolers full of tasty beverages, and towels upon towels. We could have run a small convenient store out of my car.

We were ready to go.... or so I thought. Chelsea needed to print out our parking pass and beach chair rental slip. I offered up my apartment's computer lab since it was on the way out. It would have been quicker driving to campus and back rather than trying to use Boardwalk's bobo computers and printer. Seriously some of the computers won't even turn on and the printer is always losing connection with the computers. It took us 30 minutes to print four pieces of paper. I secretly prayed that this was not a foreshadowing of what the rest of the trip was to be like.

Surely, we were ready to go now... NOT! I return to my car to hear nothing. This is interesting because I left the car running, so I should have heard a steady hum indicating this. I asked Sandy if one of them had turned the ignition off and they said no but that the car had shook violently before going completely silent. Mildred was completely out of gas. Perfect. You would think I would have learned my lesson when I left Mildred on empty with Nanny using it one day. She called and freaked out telling me the car was out of gas and then refused to speak with me for the rest of the afternoon. And yet I still drive my car on fumes. I guess I just like to test limits.

A few years ago, my mom packed me a survival pack in my car, complete with a gas can. She always likes to tell me the story of how she broke down only feet from a gas pump and the man in the store wouldn't lend her a gas can. She didn't feel like paying 20 bucks for a plastic container. So what does she do? She dumps the ridiculously long Slim Jims and uses the tall plastic holder to get gas. I'm pretty sure the store clerk hated her. In Mom's mind, there is no such thing as being too prepared, which means storing a camping tent and blanket in her car, "just in case." That day, I was singing her praises for stashing that gas can in my trunk. Without it, we would have been screwed. We all hoped in Chelsea's car and went to the gas station to get enough gas to get me to the station in my car. At this point, Boardwalk's pool was looking better than the blue waters of the Gulf Coast.

Somehow, we managed to get the gas into my tank and to the gas station without anything catching on fire or blowing up. I filled up my car as full as it would let me, bought a Coca Cola, turned on 90's pop on my Pandora app, and hit the road. We were about two seconds down the road when a little voice from somewhere in my car asked, "Are we there yet?" I just laughed because really, what else could I do. We made it to PCB without anyone breaking a bone or careening off a cliff, praise the Lord!