This dark house that I don't know very well and the fact that everyone has gone to bed has me a bit jumpy. I am a scary movie buff and these back windows kind of remind me of the scariest movie I have ever seen "The Strangers." Seriously, if you haven't seen it, I probably wouldn't watch it at night or maybe not at all if you plan on sleeping the next few weeks. My brother Tyler, aka Mr. Badass nothing-scares-me, wouldn't stay in my mom's living room for months past a certain time because the windows out by the pool are very similar to the ones in the movie that the creepy-make-you-pee-your-pants people with the horrifying masks would stare at the innocent honeymooners through. Yeah, I am now currently moving further away from the big windows that look out on the now eery looking garden that looks so enchanted beneath the sunlight.
Just recently, I saw "The Conjuring" which is by far the best horror flick I have seen since "The Strangers." My body hurt so bad from staying so seized up and tight while watching it because it was that chilling. It is like you didn't get the typical break between scary scenes like other movies. I have never been so cold or had chills for an entire movie like I did for this one. This movie sort of got me thinking about the spirit world. I like to indulge in this curiosity every once in a while about this subject every once in a while. I constantly look up the meanings of strange dreams that I have. It could be because Sarah has tried to convince me to do one of those spirit board things with her, or that the movie just had profound effects on me. But while I was in Key West, I had the perfect opportunity to give into my ever curious mind about the supernatural world and its maybe/maybe not existence.
Every night in Key West at a place called Mallory Square, the locals and tourists celebrate the end of the day with something called the Sunset Festival. I've never seen such a sunset quite as grand and blazing as the one here. The way it reflects its golden rays off the water makes it shine like diamonds of a higher quality than Cartier. It is truly something to behold at least once in your life. If you live in Florida, you really have no excuse to not visit Key West. Is it a tourist trap? Duh! But it is an adventure worth going on down there. That blog post is coming soon, I promise. My feeble memory is hurting lately, and I am having to write down all of my ideas instead of them just coming to me later.
So how do scary movies and superstitions intertwine with my Southernmost Point vacation? At this sunset festival, there are a lot of street performers. Most of them look like they sleep in a box every night, but that is okay, they are still very entertaining and funny. People will do some crazy things for a dollar. Some man climbed up on a twelve foot tall unicycle and juggled flaming bats. I give this lot of misfits props, they are doing something about not having a "job- job" to still earn money for themselves.
Out of all the misfit performers, someone stood out to me. In the middle of the square, there sat a man underneath the shade of a large black umbrella. He stood out because in a sea of tattered t-shirts and old fedoras and bowlers, this man had on a crisp white collared shirt and of all things, a Burberry tie. He looked as though he belonged in a business office rather than on performers' row. He sat at a table draped in a velvety red covering, and atop that red covering sat a crystal ball. This man was a fortune teller and he was looking at me as though he had been waiting for me all day.
Now, I do not actually really believe that there is an order of elite folks who can tell you what is going to happen tomorrow. I don't really know what I believe about stuff like this, but I don't think all of it is a load of bull. Was this man in the Burberry tie a chosen elite who could shed light on my future by pulling back the celestial curtains? Probably not. But there was something compelling in the way his eyes, as if they were beckoning me to sit with him for a while. So I did.
I plopped down in his chair, happy to take refuge from the sun underneath the shadow his umbrella cast on me. He started shuffling a deck of cards and asked me what I wanted to do today. Palmistry? Nah. Crystal ball? Nope. He already seemed to know the answer, as he was handing me the deck of cards instead of continuing down the list of other services he offered. In fact, that was the first thing he touched when I approached the table. Hmm....
I told him I had never had a card reading before and he explained that I simply had to shuffle the deck until I felt content, cut the deck into a few separate piles of any size, and take a card from each of the piles (I think it was directly from the top)pick up the decks from right to left and hand all the cards back to him. I shuffled the deck for what felt like forever. I was secretly hoping to ditch a shitty fortune in the midst of the cards, like if I shuffled them enough, the misfortune would somehow evade my hand. After a few rounds I felt like I had probably shuffled enough and the fates were probably getting tired of me taking more than my time. Cutting the cards into separate piles was another thing. I didn't know if I should do them all of equal piles or if I should do random sizes or line them up from biggest to smallest. There is a lot of pressure on a girl when she is trying to hear what her future may hold! Finally, I was satisfied with my piles and the arrangement of them and laid them out on the table to pick up in the strategic right to left fashion.
My fortune teller began to do some crazy slide of hand movements with the piles of cards, moving them all around in front of my eyes. I couldn't really keep up with it, but soon he was flipping cards with people face up in front of me every which way. Some were facing me, some were backwards, some were sideways. I saw a beautiful woman who was cloaked in white and seemed to be glowing and radiant in her chair with vines growing all around her, I saw a woman wrapped in something that made her look bound like a mummy with the bands around her eyes with many swords stabbed in the ground surrounding her, there was a man working on something with a line of eight stars in circles facing me, a man in a chair with a set of scales looking thing was flipped upside down from my view, there was a handsome man riding a white stallion brandishing a long sword that was also turned upside down, a heart with three swords stabbed into it was upside down, a queenly looking woman called the High Priestess, another looking queenly woman doting a sword of her own while kicked back in a beautiful throne (this was my kind of card I thought), a hand holding a sword that was poked through a crown, and lastly a man in a short dress looking thing with a long staff.
My fortune teller proceeded to explain to me that I had: The Eight of Swords, The High Priestess, The Three of Swords, The Empress, The Eight of Pentacles, The Queen of Swords, The Ace of Swords, Justice, The Knight of Swords, and the Page of Wands.
He said, let's start with the near past. He motioned to the girl who was bound and surrounded by swords. I am totally about to cheat because I can't remember word for word what this guy said about this card. When in doubt, Google it. This is what Google had to say about The Eight of Swords:
This card usually indicates a time of powerlessness and restriction, and more often than not this restriction is self-imposed. You may be holding yourself back because you fear moving into the future, or because you are wary of getting hurt by a new situation, or maybe for no reason at all. In rare instances you will find that another person's action - or inaction - is what keeps you from moving forward, but most of the time the blame falls on you alone. You cannot be held back unless part of you wants to be held back. The trick is finding a way to overcome that, and free yourself from the bonds of fear and doubt.
Basically he was saying that in my not too far past I had felt trapped by something or that I was holding myself back from something for fear of the unknown. Well, he was right. But I am always fearful of the future and afraid to step off the road of the past that is somehow clearer once you have already walked it into the dim visibility of the unknown future. I am thinking it may have had something to do with the fact that after I broke up with my ex, I kind of pulled back from the world of dating and boyfriends. Trapped by myself I suppose. At least I am cool to be trapped with.
The next card was The High Priestess. She is the "Inner Voice" and is a direct link to the unconscious mind. He basically told me I was very intuitive to the world around me, especially people. He said that I can relate to people on a level that is unparalleled to the way others relate to each other. Nailed it!
My heart dropped a little as he hesitated from touching the heart with the three swords stabbed deeply through its chambers. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson on the scene to figure out this one meant some sort of heart break. He was still on my past so I was thinking he was probably going to talk about me and my ex. But that didn't really make sense to me because that break up didn't really break my heart. I knew it was coming and I was over it by the next day. To my surprise, he said that I had actually felt some heart ache around the "dawn of the new year." Meaning I had experienced pain of the heart around January. I have to say, it wasn't heart ache, just dull disappointment. But nevertheless, he was still right. My heart was sad for a fool who hadn't changed the slightest in more than the insignificant sense of love. There was no love there, not even a like, but I had hoped just for a moment that everything had changed.
We moved into the here and now with The Eight of Pentacles, the little man working on something was next. He told me that I had been working hard on something lately and that if I was to continue to put forth a doubled effort, it was going to make me very successful and happy. Hmm... wonder what that could be? I think I have an idea of what it could be. We shall see I suppose.
My fortune teller wanted to proceed into the very near future with The Empress. He explained to me that this beautiful woman was the face of creation and grace in everything she made. The Empress, he said, sees and takes significant joy in everything that she makes. My mind went immediately to my blog. This is my baby and I have never made something that I enjoy more. He said the love The Empress embodies is both her greatest strength and her most daunting weakness, being as though even though she loves so much, sometimes that love is not reciprocated with the same magnitude.
Then something happened that I hadn't expected. His ears turned a little pink and his cheeks went flush as he told me The Empress represented something else. His eyes flashed from mine to my mother's who was standing behind hanging onto every word probably more so than I was. Mr. Crystal ball said that The Empress represents fertility and the chance of having a baby. "Since The Empress came to us in this position, I would say it is very likely that you will become pregnant in the fall of this year. If you do not wish to become a mother right now, I would recommend extreme caution because she is very willful in this for you this year." WHAT IN THE HELL!? I felt my mouth fall open and I just couldn't even speak. I felt my neck getting hot and I am pretty sure the setting sun had nothing to do with the sweat that began to bead on my skin. WHAT?! The only thing I could do was think, "Absolutely not having sex with anyone. I am so glad I don't have a boyfriend. I cannot take a baby in the Baby Bjorn to Physics in the spring. Might as well wrap my lower half in crime scene tape because there is nobody going between the space where my jeans meet my skin. Nope, no babies. Absolutely freaking not. Kinley is enough baby for me right now, and she is one that I can give back to her Momma when I can't please her with Doggies (aka 101 Dalmatians) and chocolate milk.
I was too stunned to pay too much attention to the Queen of Swords and the Ace of Swords because I was just thinking of how I needed to padlock myself in a tower and guard myself with a dragon to insure a little prince or princess didn't happen to me. Then he got to Justice. Justice, he explained, often dealt with things of legal means. The scales represent the balance between fair and unfair. He cautioned me that the position of this card meant that something very unjust was going to happen to me around coming up March-May. Perfect, that's just what I need is for my life to turn into an episode of Judge Judy.
The handsome faced man on his noble steed was the Knight of Swords. Surely, this was good news. Surely it was saying some beautiful man was going to come riding into my life and whisk me away to live out our fairytale. Surely, something in these cards would show my love life turning around. How very wrong I was. My fashionable fortune teller proceeded to tell me with a heavy sigh that the placement of this card represented a man fleeing from my life quickly. He said not to fear death more so than a love interest leaving and disappearing suddenly. Great.
The last, the Page of Wands was my last hope for some sort of happiness out of being pregnant, defeated legally and being lonely. He said with sweet splendor that the Page of Wands is to represent passion for something and childlike wonder and interest in something, and also total fearlessness in whatever I am currently pursuing or will pursue. He said it could come in the form of something that sparks my interest and that the Page will lend me his creative notion to make whatever it is grand. Once this Page enters, your life will never be the same. He said it could be in the form of a person who is so carefree and wonderful who could come into my life. I thought inwardly that it probably won't be a man since I just saw him galloping away with my broken heart and crushed dreams. This person brings you a childlike happiness that is hard to keep contained. Perhaps it is my sweet little niece who brings me so much joy and happiness just to be around her who is the Page of Wands in my life. Or maybe it is a man, who is creative and ambitious and fun and looks at the world in awe. Just the thing I am looking for in a man.
How interesting it was listen to a man in a nice tie tell me what my future is to hold and the options that each card brings. Even in my moment of despair as I thought, "Cool, I will be pregnant, I'll have to go to court over custody/ child support and lose in an unjust fashion, and then this man is going to runaway and leave us high and dry all alone. Perfect, might as well just jump from the harness when I go parasailing tomorrow since this future is looking oh so enjoyable" I thought how cool to "know." It is neat to hear that things could go one way or another just depending on how I "saw things." I don't know if y'all have noticed, but I am very indecisive and unpredictable. Even though this might be a bunch of bologna, even though this could just be a man who pulled me in with his fancy card tricks, it was nice to "see" into the crystal ball and have half an idea of what could possibly happen. Cross your fingers that there is no baby or fleeing man or legal issue that favors the other person in an unjust fashion. But even still, the possibilities are amazing, and the chance of knowing what is to come is just thrilling.
I think the whole art of this fortune telling thing is to give people options. They say it could be this, but it could also be this if you aren't happy with the answer I have given you. I think the whole point is to say, you have a choice in this life, in this future. The message, I think, is to choose wisely if you are presented with the choice. So I am not wanting to create a baby, even though The Empress means fertility and creation, I have the option to look at this as maybe my creation will be my blog and its many posts, or maybe something in writing other than a blog. Who knows? The only way to know for sure is to just live and let it happen.
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