Bubbles in the Tub

Hello all from my post in the loft,

I am currently watching criminal minds while eating popcorn shirtless. Someone please feel free to stop my insanity. But knock first. Me eating popcorn is not a cute thing to witness.
Tonight I would like to talk about what guys think about every 7 seconds and what girls think about every 2 seconds. Let’s talk about sex baby!

So, a lot has been going on lately on my twitter feed about sex. Seriously, my twitter is the social network version of Fifty Shades mixed with Teen Mom this week. There are always people making out and tweeting naughty things. Hi my name is Cara Overstreet and I am one of those people. Not on the making out part of course, none of that going on here lately. I am pretty sure that by the time I find a suitable mate, I will have forgotten how to “put your lips like this.” That’s cool though, I am willing to forget my own name if it will be Ezra Fitz reteaching me everything. But I do tweet some raunchy stuff on occasion for kicks. It is all for fun. Like last week when it was kind of blustery and rainy outside I tweeted, “This weather makes me want to dry hump #honestyhour.” Obviously I am not the only one who feels this way about the rain because I got a hefty handful of retweets on that one.

Sex has been exploited from the privacy of a bedroom (kitchen counter, bathroom wall, tile floor, turned on washing machine, dressing room, unpurchased RV, trampoline at your best friend’s house,…) to everywhere we look now a days. But I feel as though there should be some rules about one’s sex life and how you portray it to the world/not portray it to the world.

1- If you are in high school, go ahead and sit down. It is in no way, shape, or form appropriate for you to portray anything about your sexuality to the world. Better yet, you better not even be giving glimpses. Now, I am not trying to say sex is an abhorrent act that will send you directly to hell without passing go, but I am not advocating it for teenagers either on here or anywhere else. If you are 18 or younger, please refrain from posting videos such as you kissing other girls with guys cheering in the back ground, pictures with your ass and boobies hanging out of whatever skimpy outfit you snuck under your hoodie to get out of your dad’s house, photos with liquor bottles with captions that say things like “turnt up,” videos of you and a guy doing whatever it is y’all do, or anything else. Like seriously, you don’t even know what being “turnt up” is. Turnt up for the youngins should be like having two back to back sodas on top of a bowl of fruit loops. Stop.

I know girls these days think that it is cute or whatever to put stuff like this out there for everyone to see. Not picking on the younger generations, I am just pointing out the obvious from what I see on my newsfeeds and everywhere else. It so isn’t attractive though. Nobody thinks that is cute. A photo with a caption that says “ I just love this outfit” and the only part of the outfit you can see is the triple deep v neck shirt she is wearing over her fake push up bra boobies, does not say classy on the street and freak in the sheets. It just says nasty as hell and open for business, swipe your card here. If you can’t get into the movies after 9 without adult supervision, just stop. Actually, nobody of any age should share themselves with other people via pictures and videos. It’s gross. Ain’t nobody got time to watch you go all National Geographic moose mating season meets Farrah’s sex tape.

2- Quit telling everyone who you banged last week. Especially guys. I really can’t stress it enough. Guys may be smiling and nodding as you go on about whatever three minute fantasy you are exaggerating about, but inside they are thinking, “Ew, holy shit stop. I am getting graphics now. AGH I can see his penis! STOP!” They might like it for a whole of two seconds, because they are guys and can’t help it. It sends the wrong message though. It says I don’t have any respect for myself and you can skip the whole breathing the same air, talking, dating, kissing, stages and jump right into the sack. And word gets around. You tell one person and they tell three more and so on. Pretty soon you’ve got an Easy A situation where people start acting like your vagina (or penis for the guys) is a candy bowl on Halloween.

The only people you should be sharing your sexcapade stories with are your best friends. And by best friends I mean like the one or two people who you would recruit to hide Jimmy Hoffa’s body in Mt. Rushmore like it is part of a National Treasure movie. Just be discrete y’all.

3- If you find yourself comparing notes on a boy with your friend, you have messed up. I heard a story recently from some friends up north about two girls who slept with the same guy…. In the same night… in like the same 12 hours or less… They got into a bit of a scrap about their performance and one was like, “well he said I suck dick better.” And the other was like, “He said I ride better.” EW, EXCUSE ME WHILE I VOMIT EVERYWHERE!!!!!! SHUT UP!! First off, if you are a classy girl, you never say, “I suck dick” in any sentence, thought bubble, smoke signal, coded letter, etc. How…. NO can you get? Have some respect for yourself. Not saying it doesn’t go on, but lawd have mercy nobody needs that visual. You should definitely not sleep with the same guy your friend slept with in the past 5 years or so. That’s weird. Maybe forever depending on if it was like a meaningful relationship or a drunken midnight mash. Tread with serious caution.

4- Do not send naked pictures to anyone. Boy, girl, or panda bear in China. A rule of thumb that I came up with when sending naked pictures to someone is that for each person you send it to, add ten other people to it. I say this because I was sitting at a table with about ten people at AJ’s sports bar when a nameless guy in our group flashed us all a pair of naked breasts from his phone over our chicken wings.

I don’t care if the man kissed the bible when he promises he won’t show it to anyone, he absolutely will. I mean of course he promises not to show it. He wants to see the goods! He isn’t going to say, “Yeah sweetheart go ahead and send them so I can use them in a Powerpoint slide show for my pals later.” He says something like, “Nah baby these are for my eyes only. You are too perfect to show to anyone else. Don’t worry, you are mine. I promise it’s just between you and me. I’ll buy you a flying unicorn if you send me a pic” etc, etc, etc. Here is a CaraCode rule (even though this isn’t exactly a CaraCode post):

Rule 216- when someone says send me a pic, go on and delete that number.

Also, you can screenshot a snapchat. No naked snaps.

The people you send them to keep that until their phone breaks and the pictures don't transfer, and just show it around for fun later. The picture I saw was over three years old. Yeah girl, your boobies are out there in the atmosphere for everyone to see still. Shameful.

Everyone makes mistakes, but nobody accidentally takes twenty naked pictures trying to find the right combination of a cute/ naughty face, accidentally selects whatever boy to send it to, and accidentally presses send. Naked photo embarrassment is 100% preventable. Log on to my blog to find out more on how to prevent your photo from being passed around the dinner table like the bread bowl.

Just be smart y’all. Be sensible about how you present yourself to the world. When I was in high school and in the odd times when I actually stopped to think before I did something, I would always ask myself how bad Brad (aka Daddyo) would freak out if he saw/found out about what I was planning to do. If it was above a 5, I refrained from doing whatever my devious teenage plans were (most of the time. Kids will be kids).

Think about how you want everyone else to see you. I typically would say who gives a crap what people think, be your own bird, but this is a different case. Go for the penguin, little dudes have a tux built into their feather pelts. It doesn't get more classy than that. I am trying to come up with a slutty bird right now but I really can't so I think I am done here.

Stay beautiful everyone :)