How to.. Simply Put

Hello all!

So the other day I was asked to blog about something specific. I was quite shocked because I never get these sort of messages. With that being said, I would absolutely love to hear any requests that anyone has. There is nothing that I won't blog about so if anyone ever has something they would like me to shed light on, leave a comment or message me on Facebook. I am still trying to get these two synced up so more people can better get their hands and eyes on what I write.

This person asked me to blog about how to get over someone. At first, I thought, well I am clearly no expert. I tend to hold onto things for a really long time. It is something about me that at times I wish I could change. I don't hold grudges really, like I don't stay mad at people for long. We either make up within the next day or that bridge is burned forever. But I hold onto things or people that I know are good, or were at one point. My problem is that I can never see how someone has changed for the worst of the worse, I only see what once was. I suppose it's a good thing that I see a person's inner silver lining, but there has to be a point where I see it for the ugly black stripe it really is. I haven't gotten there yet, I'm working on it.

So I am no expert on how to get over someone. Why should you listen to me then? Well, because I am real with these hard situations and I put it in a way that is sort of comical and easy to relate to. You could go purchase and read a book from some PhD love doctor, and get this specific check list of how to finally move on from someone, how to let them go in 10 easy steps. I hate to tell you that you would be wasting money that is perfectly acceptable at all Starbucks, Target, and Forever 21 locations. I would have thrown a manly store in there for my fellas who read this, but honestly I have no idea where y'all shop. And yet, somehow, you all manage to look so put together in a sexy mess sort of way. Well, most of you, some of you guys still need a lesson or two.

Here is my million dollar answer for how to get over a guy. You don't.

Bare with me now. I don't mean you will sit in your bed, listening to and relating every sad country song to your novelistic break up, eating anything with carbs and frosting, and not changing out of your jammies for the rest of your life. That's ridiculous! I'm not sure what men do. Perhaps you won't be drowning your sorrows at the bar or battling an inner demon making you want to watch the Notebook when your dude roommates are out of town for the weekend for forever. No. That's not what I mean by you won't ever get over it.

What I mean is, this person was a part of your life for some time. Depending on the time spent, level of intimacy, age, etc, this a person was probably a very huge puzzle piece of your life indeed. I will say, there is nothing harder than being young and in love with someone who you are around every single day, and then, suddenly, you can no longer talk to them, even though there are still around and so are you. There is nothing more devastating than realizing you can't pick up the phone and tell that someone about something hilarious or dramatic that has happened because you know they won't answer if you try, or worse they will and that fire will stir in your heart and sizzle its strings. Being in a relationship is something that is serious and isn't stepped into lightly, or shouldn't be anyways. These feelings you develop whilst with someone are real, probably the realest thing you will ever feel. So why ever would one think they could just forget all of this?

The thing we have to realize is, that's all they are now, and all they will ever be. They are a part of your life, much as the first day of college or a first kiss is a part of your life. This boy/girl is an event, that happened in a specific time and place. It will forever remain that way in your own personal little history book. You can look back and say, "Okay, they are there. It was fun while it lasted but it ended when it was meant to be done." There is nothing that will feel right about breaking up with or being dumped by someone who you cared about. However, it has happened for a reason. Perhaps you can't see why you are hurting so bad or missing someone like crazy at this moment. This type of getting over someone takes time, it doesn't happen over night. Unless it is one of those bridges you burned like I did. That's rare though.

The best thing about history lessons, is you get to learn from the past. You will, however, make the same mistake again. And again. That's okay though. The lessons that take the longest to learn, are the ones that are not easily forgotten. Cassie showed me a funny ecard on Pinterest (of course) the other day that said, "I don't make the same mistake twice, I make it five or six times just to be sure." Sadly, this is true in my case, and readers, if you are honest with yourselves, it's true of you too. But the more you delve into the pages of your own "A History of (insert your name)" book, the more you will learn and the easier you will move on to write the next chapter.

That is the key to getting over someone. Realizing that they were someone special at one point, and now they are just someone. There are no herbal remedies or yoga poses to help you get over someone. There isn't a shot that will make you forget what you had with someone. There is no amount of alcohol to numb this feeling. It is just simply waking up one day and having it finally hit you. That realization may take some time. That's okay. Be sad, listen to sappy songs, eat EVERYTHING and then go to the gym because you have a conscious and endorphins make you feel fantastic, sleep in, skip that one class that you drag yourself to, buy clothes that are too expensive and live off of Ramen noodles for a week to pay the price. Do what ever you have to do. It will all make you feel better. And through these things, we will eventually learn that life goes on without this person. You can still eat strawberry cupcakes and not cry because they were someone's favorite (I've been craving all things strawberry, but especially cupcakes). You'll stop being ridiculous and go to that movie theater because it is the closest one to you.

That's it, no special tricks or magic in this one. Just realization. They are no longer that person who has your heart, just a person who was its keeper for a point in time. They didn't hold it properly so you made them a memory. They are a memory. And what is life really, without a memory or two?