Hello all,
I am so thrilled to tell you all that I have been getting some of male attention lately! Yep, you heard right, members of the male gender have been noticing my existence! Unfortunately, this has me involved so you all know that there is some sort of a catch.
This past week I was walking out of my apartment singing the only way I know how: terribly. I had my back facing the stairs as I locked up my fortress. Upon turning around I almost ran smack into this guy who was also making his way down the stairs. "I am so sorry!" I exclaimed. He smiled and said it was alright and continued to go on his way.... The end....
Nah, I am just kidding! That would be the saddest blog post ever if that is where it ended. This boy turned out to be my neighbor. He was pretty cute too. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he turned back to me and said, "Would you like help with those?" pointing to the large trash bag, purse, and package I was carrying with me. I was sort of caught of guard by this sweet gesture that this stranger. Was he really about to walk all the way back up the stairs to help me with my things? I quickly decided that I would feel bad if he did in fact trek back up the stairs so I kindly declined his offer. He still waited for me at the bottom of the stairs. We chatted about the music they are always blaring in his apartment. Usually loud music at 1 in the morning has the same effects of a crying baby on an airplane for me. I told him that I was so fond of his music choices, that the noise wasn't bothersome, giving my hair a light toss with the hand that wasn't clutching a Hefty bag.
My version of flirting>>> others' versions of flirting
My second encounter with the rare good looking man was at a concert performed by none other than the king of sexy himself: Luke Bryan. I donned my cowboy boots and hit up the concert with some friends of mine to see this country boy shake it for me like I was the only one in the audience. As much as I melted over his southern drawl and purring, my chances of having a flirtatious anything with Mr. Bryan has about as much a chance of happening as does the government sitting in a Khumbaya circle sipping hot chocolate spiked with Bailey's deciding how to end this shutdown.
It was towards the end of the concert. I had walked away from the stage with Hunter, Lew and Hunter's cousin. We had been standing for about 6 hours straight and as captivating as LB is, I refused to stand in hot breath cloud emitted by every girl in the greater Tallahassee area that hung over our prime stage center location any longer. I sat down on the grass for a little bit a little further away from the crowd, thoroughly enjoying watching Lew and Hunter trying to spit some game at these two girls. I am so proud to say that I think they were both successful, as they both danced for a while with their intended targets. I stood back up just in time to watch a drunk girl step on a water bottle and fall on her ass right in front of me.
Gett'er done son!
I tried to help her up but she was being really prideful/drunk and didn't want any help. When she moved away I noticed a nice looking gentleman in a plaid shirt standing rather close by. He was texting very intently on his phone, probably looking for his friends. After about ten minutes, he turned and walked over to me and asked me a question.
"Has anyone told you how beautiful and sexy you are tonight?"
I stopped, looked all around me and when I saw nobody standing remotely close I said, "No, actually no."
"Well, I just wanted to let you know that you are beautiful." He also told Hunter's cousin that she was very pretty too upon noticing her. I was thinking he was drunk, but his face wasn't ruddy with the afterglow of too much booze. He extended both of his hands out to us as if he were a preacher wanting to pray. We both took them hesitantly and he twirled us around before taking off into the night. He was a country fried Zorro, and I am pretty sure that he was dead serious.
Now, we all know that when I am involved in the story, absolutely anything that can go wrong will in fact go about as bad as a neglected Easter egg on a spring lawn. This last little love story is about as "NO" as you can get.
I was getting gas earlier tonight at Murphy's right up the road from me. It has the cheapest gas and a handsome cashier who normally works the late shifts. I made my way up to the cash register clutching a small bottle of Borden's chocolate milk. I have a very soft spot in my heart for chocolate milk and Borden's is my favorite brand. I hadn't had it in a while and I figured it was worth the short wait in line for me to have it tomorrow for breakfast. I reached the register and noticed two very large beer bottles sitting close to the lottery tickets. I kind of chuckled and asked the cashier if someone underage had tried to purchase them. And this is how it went from here:
"No, actually, they are his," the cashier said pointing to a very large, very bearded upper forties Tarzan (but not in a good way) looking man.
Tarzan walked over beside me and reached his arm around in front of me to grab his bottles of booze.
"Well, damn, these have already gotten hot..." he complained about his lukewarm beer upon touching the bottle, "But not as hot as those things," He goggled looking directly down my tank top at my boobs. SERIOUSLY!?
I was so stunned that I slapped my hand over my chest and turned away flushed. I was thinking it was either slap him or slap yourself, and in light of his gargantuan stature and my not so tough/short one, I chose the latter. Like I didn't have on a low cut shirt or anything. I had on a friggin' cardigan! There was nothing sexy about how I looked in my "running" shorts (let's be honest, I do not wear these to run), slicked back pony and sweater over tank. Hell, I didn't even match!
I was so shocked. Who just throws out that line in the Murphy's gas station right in front of the cashier and Jesus?
And y'all already know I say stupid shit whenever I get nervous, or just about anytime I feel any emotion really. I looked back at Ben, the nice man ringing me up, and said, "You know, they really aren't that great. I mean, they are, but it's mostly the bra. They aren't fake or anything. Victoria's Secret just does a mighty fine job with their products."
I think Ben struggled a little with finishing ringing up my gas and chocolate milk.
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